Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Women Enjoy Sex. Get Over It.

I am very annoyed by something a Facebook friend of mine posted and I want to express my feelings about it. In order to avoid an Internet argument, I'll express them here. This is the beauty of having a blog. I will also respect his privacy by not disclosing any names.

So he posts this link about a woman answering a Family Feud question: "What is something you would put in your mouth but not swallow?" The woman, a pastor's wife, answers "Sperm," much to the disgust of the host, Steve Harvey. I actually think this is a pretty mature answer compared to slang she could have used. "Sperm" is the actual term, after all. She expected it to be on the board, but alas it wasn't, leading the very unfunny Steve Harvey into a celebration with horrible dancing skills, making a fool out of her, and everyone else into fits of laughter. To see the clip, click here.

This offends me because, um, yeah, there is such a thing as oral sex and couples do it. And, I appreciate the fact that she is married and answering this question with honesty and pride. Of course, Harvey and the rest of the people in the studio have to make it an embarrassing thing to discuss and giggle like a bunch of children. It can't possibly be an answer on the board. Because people don't have sex. It's not apart of everyday life, right? Come on.

You know, people probably wanted to give that answer but were just too ashamed to do so. I mean, the question pretty much asks for it. I admire the pastor's wife for having such guts! She is comfortable with her sex life and is a woman who isn't afraid to talk about it.

But then I saw a friend of my friend's comment on the link, and this is what REALLY set me off. First he sides with Harvey and laughs about how he makes fun of the woman's accent, especially the way she says "You know it's up there," but then he proceeds to call the woman a "white trash slut." What makes things even worse is that my friend liked his comment.

Oh. My. God. I HATE the word "slut." I actually wanted to write a blog post about my feelings about the word and I guess now is the perfect time to do so. Some people dislike the word, some people are okay with it. I think more and more people should dislike it because it is a negative association to female sexuality and has been one for years. If a woman likes sex, it makes her a "slut." Because, you know, it's unnatural for a woman to like sex. Well, guess what? A good majority of women do like sex and it's actually perceived as a good thing! Surprise! Bet you didn't know that, did you?

It's just an all around bad word. I guess people are okay with using it because they want to change the meaning of the word and make a more positive spin on it, but to me "slut" will never be a compliment, so people should probably stop using it. The "white trash" part annoys me too. Perhaps he is referring to her as "white trash" because of her southern accent, which can be considered offensive in itself, but basically what he is trying to say is that white women who are proud of their sexualities are a joke. They are scum. It's not a surprise that my friend is male and his friend is also male. Insulting females and their sexualities is just such a fun activity for misogynistic men, isn't it? But that's okay though. When they want sex they know exactly who to crawl to.

I probably made more out of this than I should, and the guys probably aren't misogynists, but this kind of stuff infuriates me. It is a small piece of a bigger puzzle that needs some solving.

*Please note that this rant isn't an attack on all men. I know there are decent men out there who respect female sexuality and I thank them.



    I don't know why people think it's so wrong for women to enjoy sex. Just because they do it doesn't mean they're whores. It's completely natural to enjoy sex and I agree with everything you said.

  2. leahcar,

    Thank you so much for your comment! I'm so glad you like it! :)


  3. Something similar happened on Jeopardy the other night when one of the questions was "If Bob was with Jane, then Jane was with Steve what would this be?" The lady who buzzed in first answered by saying "A threesome" that answer was incorrect and the host Alex then looked into the camera and stated while chuckling "It looks like Sara (fake name) has more experience than I." I laughed at it but was laughing more so that the lady said that as her answer and was proud that she did. People have so much hang ups about what sex should be and how & who should be engaging in it, people should be more free to let things be what they are. And if anyone wanted to know the real answer they were looking for was "Love Triangle".

    I agree with you Stef and keep up the good work.

  4. Interesting! Thank you so much for your comment and compliments! :)