"What is one word you would use to describe me?" I asked her.
After some thought, she responded, "Cautious. You think about things in-depth before you do them."
Thereafter this turned into a conversation about how I can get out of this and has actually stayed with me ever since, making me question how much of life I am actually living.
Lately I've been encouraging myself to do more things, especially with my writing. Although, I still am a little cautious with that as well.
The truth is, I agreed with her answer whole-heartedly and wasn't offended by it. I actually like the fact that I am cautious. It makes me consider every logical path before making a decision and jumping into things.
However, this cautiousness of mine could also be more of a curse than a blessing. Cautiousness allows over-thinking and procrastination to dominate.
A part of the reason why I question my writing profession is that I never feel like my work is at its complete best and good enough in my eyes or ready for the cruel outside world. Think about it this way. Sometimes sharing my written work and putting it in someone else's hands is metaphorically equivalent to me walking outside in the nude and giving people permission to judge and touch my exposed body.
Yeah. It's THAT intimidating. And I'm not the only writer who suffers from this.
Usually when I finally submit the piece and then others see it, everything turns out fine. I never really had an issue with my articles and usually my subjects are happy with them, so I don't know where this fear is coming from.
However, this article in particular is different. The following is a recount of me deliberating with myself concerning said article and then making peace with my decision.